MothOfDoom31

 Funerals are nothing foreign to me, but this one is alien.  I sit in the pew with tears like waterfalls, like I’ve never known before.  When my grandmother died I was too high to cry, too high to feel her loss even though she’d been the only one who had continued to believe there was hope for me.  I’ve been to the funerals of overdosers I had known but they never pierced my heart like this one.  This time everything is real, even as I try to lose it to the fog of the heroin I shot in the church’s bathroom.  This time the sorrow seeps into my bones and overflows despite the endless depths of my heart. It’s stra

I need you in ways you don't need me your secret distaste when you see my face and when I can't believe when I can't break free you just watch me drown you watch my life fade out I don't need you in the ways you need me my secret affection for your self destruction and when I can't believe when I can't break free you just watch me drown you watch my life fade out together I feel so alone apart I feel so close and when I can't believe when I can't break free you just watch me drown you watch my life fade out life fade out fade out fade...

bullets in my back a knife to carve my face standing in a pool of blood screaming into the void I'll never know what my life means I'll never know what death could bring I'm longing for some reprieve I'm trying so hard not to grieve my life was over so long ago just my body now remains hollow as a ghost vultures and cadavers won't save me now you don't need to see the scars that grace my bones I don't need to see you don't tell me you've felt these teeth that bless me with their disease I'll tell you how it feels but you'll never believe and so I drown before I can be found and so I open my veins before you can see when I had nothing le

on both ends of the barrel stuck in the stars ready to part with my skull puppeteering from afar I'll die before your very eyes I'll live because of your sweet lies hope is lost within my veins all your prayers are in vain on both ends of disaster watching my destruction my soul will be discovered when it's too late for contrition I'll die before your very eyes I'll live because of your sweet lies hope is lost within my veins all your prayers are in vain too fast for this life to slow for this death double edged knife deaf to your request I'll die before your very eyes I'll live because of your sweet lies hope is lost within my veins all

on this dark and endless night all you have to do is fight come on, get up, get off the ground there's people dying all around you could be their savior but you have to save yourself you could be a danger but you have to hurt yourself no one can do what you can do no one can suffer so much pain no one will do these things for you no one can inflict so much pain so as you wander these empty streets savor your inevitable defeat all you have to do is fight but you haven't got the might if only you could see the light but you haven't got the right to end your plight your existence is a blight there is no hope in sight your suffering cannot ta

where have I been? what have I lost? innocence does not become me after all the lines I've crossed when will I know? who could I be? without the chains that tie me down even then could I be free? my mind is my own prison I drink my own defeat you may point and laugh at me for all the monsters I can't beat when leaves fall my nightmares come stand between all that I love the ghosts that always haunted me are all that I think of possibilities begin to fade and I don't ever want to wake but face the worst I must until I finally break as the darkness envelops everything I scream for someone to save me just amputate these broken wings I've be